Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Season of Waiting is beginning to effect every part of me

For a couple weeks, I have wanted to blog about all that is taking place in our lives right now. The reason why I haven't is simply because I don't really know what to say and when I figure that out, I may not know how to say it. I want this blog to be a record of the lives that Brandon and I share - a place to document our life together and a place to record how Jesus is working in our lives. We want to be able to use this blog to return praise to Him for all He is doing. Our hope is to document as much as we can or as necessary so that in years from now, we will have clear evidence of God's faithfulness and His mercy.
I do feel as though it is important to document the prayers of our hearts as much as possible so that God's answer is all the more evident.

So this post will stay short & sweet. In a lot of ways, this specific post is a starting place as I attempt to meet Jesus where He is as He works through this chaos that seems to surrounding our lives right now. I'm not sure if I am prepared for what may come of this, so for now, I will at least admit the state of my heart.

For the last month, Brandon has wiped my tears, calmed me down, and comforted my heart just so he could do it all again the next day.

Much is going on in my heart and my head. Overwhelmed. Stressed. Confused. Lately my days have been filled with confusion, frustration, cynicism & tears. Can't explain, I wouldn't really even know how to begin.

So for now, I am just admitting that my heart is heavy & I am ready for it to change. Unsure as to what is ahead leaves me nervous and reaffirms that I may not be prepared for it.

I keep thinking I just need to go on a good walk for clarity of mind, but I'm afraid I would walk for days.

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